13 Comments

Thank you for sharing your story! Five years is huge. Congratulations!

Expand full comment

You’re very good at this.

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing, Ben. Huge congrats on five years (and getting out of your bathroom!).

Expand full comment

Alright, Ben! Congrats on five years, and congrats on getting out of your bathroom!

Expand full comment

Aside from your remarkable courage and honesty, this piece is shockingly good. There are so many lines I stopped to consider. You have balanced sadness with poise in a way I someday hope to emulate. Thanks for the post.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Ethan! Appreciate the kind words from another writer-with-a-day-job.

Expand full comment

Congratulations. I got a jar of marbles at year five. It's a great life.

Expand full comment
author

I had a boss tell a story about a jar of beads, each representing a day left in his life. I liked the idea, even though the person himself was kind of an awful human being so I never got my own jar. So judgy of me. Anyway - thank you!

Expand full comment

Congratulations Ben TG, on the 5 years and on the 9 months. There's an immediacy and an intimacy and an informality about your style that makes your posts so relatable. It also helps that quite weirdly often the minutae of our lives interconnect in unlikely ways. Today's example is that like you I'm living in a house with a dysfunctional bathroom door (the outside handle has fallen off) bringing the ever-present potential of a lock-in situation. The air conditioning on the other hand... is non-existent. Not so much demand for that in cloudy, murky England, much as I may wish there (maybe just occasionally) was!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you - appreciate the kind words. I spent about half my adult years in Boston in apartments older than this place - it becomes kind of a joke how many random things go wrong.

Expand full comment

Yay five! Yay five. (I can hear it in my head, I think it’s a line from a movie?) 5 YEARS. 🙌🏼

It does feel like such a huge shift to quit drinking, I too was amazed- amazed! that people weren’t shocked by the difference in me. I felt like a magic eye puzzle- can’t you see this?!? 😂

I love little kid logic and how funny they are. When they start having a sense of humor that surprises you. I’m happy for both of you. Yay five!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you so much Amy! Your blog has helped me push myself into reading old journals, something I was loathe to do without being able to put it into words. I sometimes wonder about the extroverted alcoholic, who maybe “changes” more just by virtue of not partying all the time.

And yes, my son cracks me up - sometimes on purpose now. Though he’s at that age where every punchline involves poop, which I understand will last another couple of decades *sigh*

Expand full comment

Ahh man I can relate to this:

“I used to fantasize that someone would notice a change, tell me it seemed like I’d had a personality transplant, but instead I’m as awkward and anxious as ever.”

Congrats on 5 💥

It’s the little stuff—like simply not burning the house down when the AC went out—or sitting in a puddle of tears and snot and booze when you locked yourself in the bathroom. I know I used to always stash a bottle under the bathroom sink for emergency use 🙄😂

Expand full comment